But then I got to wondering... maybe that kind of thinking is what is wrong with churches in general today? Most people can't broach subjects like oral sex, or pornography with our pastors or church family without feeling shamed or embarrassed. The fact is, that most teens are NOT chatting up their pastors on whether it is okay or not to try out third base with their girlfriend. They are going to their friends or the Internet for guidelines and information on what is allowed or what is "okay" to do sexually.
Unless we open the lines of communication and make sex a household/church wide topic, our kids will never feel comfortable asking us questions about it.
A very big part of the draw for kids and teens is that sex is so sensationalized, its so taboo and off limits. Its Bad, and dangerous, and your parents don't want you to know about it. When things are said, parents and adults use hushed tones and reply with "Oh, nothing dear!" when you ask them what they are talking about. That's what makes sex pretty sexy. It gives it an edge, drama, sophistication, mystery. If you take all of that away, it can become a dinner conversation in which you can be open with your kids and friends about the realities, myth and rumors about S.E.X.
You can tell them why God wants them to stay pure, that their purity is a gift for their future husband/wife. You can talk to them about the pressures that they are feeling and the fact that their bodies are probably telling them the opposite of what their conscience is. You can share experiences of people that have waited verses people who didn't and how that turned out for them. Granted, you can only lead a horse to water.. but it is a start. If all churches and families had these kinds of open communication, do you think more teens would wait until marriage?
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3 comments:
I totally agree! But what would Nana say about it all?
haha! She's a liberal catholic..don't worry!
BAHAHA! I was also wondering what Nana's impression of Saturday Night was...
I don't know if you've ever seen the website XXXChurch.com It's a ministry and website started by guys who wanted to encourage people to talk freely about sex (specifically pornography) in the church. Anyway, its amazing to see the way they are pushed away in various settings. But some of their boards, etc are super encouraging/discouraging as you read about how widespread the inability to address sexual topics in church is.
I think a HUGE piece of this is: safety, or lack there of. Are our churches safe places to bring honest questions?
In my own spiritual journey, having to allow God to radically rewrite and reorient my sexuality from the whacked out version of I assumed was the norm in MS and HS, was hard, painful, and a long process... I often didn't know who to turn to. Thankfully, God was faithful and I saw the opportunities along the way to seize gifts and resources that He had made available in order to experience freedom.
I think this is why when we started Saturday Nights I saw the need for "Authenticity" as being so central (a Core Value) to what God was calling us to be about as a faithful community of Christ-followers.
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