What is "Church" and "Worship"?

Some know that a few weeks ago we had a family visiting with us from San Raman.  David is a pastor in SR and he was on a two week vacation.  As my ordination mentor, he came to worship with us as a friend and someone curious about what we are doing.  He and I grabbed lunch yesterday and he shared with me a couple encouraging words about our Saturday Night experiment. 

The main thing he told me was that it was incredibly refreshing that we weren't trying to be something we weren't.  It was obvious that we are a community that cares about one another and those who want to participate with us in worship.  But, we aren't trying to wow anyone into staying or trying to make things "perfect."  He made clear that our actions say, "This is who we are, we welcome you to join with us"

I really appreciated this feedback.  This suggests that to us, worship isn't an event to attract people to in order to build up an institution.  Rather, it is part (though central and important part) of our life, lived together.  Worship is an extension of the relationships being developed through the rest of week.  So, when we invite people to worship with us, we don't expect people to be wow'd with hype, but to see the reason why are lives look the way they do.

I offer this reflection today, because I came across an interesting cartoon that you could call an indictment of "Contemporary worship."  Does this cartoon miss the mark?  (Cartoon from James K. A. Smith's blog)

To Become that Godley Parent

For those of you who have read Gary Smalley he gives 84 ways to offend our children...(to become godley parents and to not lead our children into breaking next week's commandment...a look ahead if you will)

1. Lacking interest in things that are special to me
2. Breaking promises
3. Criticizing unjustly
4. Allowing my brother or sister to put me down
5. Misunderstanding my motives
6. Speaking carelessly
7. Punishing me for something for which I already had been punished
8. Telling me that my opinion doesn't really matter
9. Giving me the feeling that they never make mistakes
10. Not being gentle when pointing out my weaknesses or blind spots
11. Lecturing me and not understanding when all I need is some support
12. Never telling me "I love you;" never showing me physical affection
13. Not spending time alone with me
14. Being insensitive, rough, and breaking promises
15. Being thoughtless
16. Never telling me "thank you"
17. Not spending time together
18. Being insensitive to my trials
19. Speaking harsh words
20. Being inconsistent
21. Being taken for granted
22. Being told how to do something that I was doing on my own
23. Nagging me
24. Bossing me
25. Feeling unnoticed and unappreciated
26. Being ignored
27. Not being considered a thinking and feeling person
28. Being too busy to care for me and listen to me
29. Dismissing my needs as unimportant, especially when their work or hobby is more important
30. Bringing up old mistakes from the past to deal with present problems
31. Teasing excessively
32. Not noticing my accomplishments
33. Making tactless comments
34. Liking me only for my physical looks or abilities, instead of what's inside me
35. Not being praised and appreciated
36. Being built up and then let down
37. Getting my hopes up to do something as a family and then not following through
38. Being corrected without being reminded that they love me
39. Being disciplined in harshness and anger
40. Not reasoning with me, and never giving me an explanation of why I'm being disciplined
41. Misusing brute force
42. Reacting to me in the opposite way I think a Christian should treat me
43. Raising their voices to each other
44. Not being interested in who I am
45. Cutting down something I am doing or someone I am with as being dumb or stupid
46. Using foul language when they are upset with me
47. Being impatient, which often comes across as rudeness
48. Saying "no" without giving a reason
49. Not praising me
50. Sensing a difference between what is said with the mouth and what is said through facial expressions
51. Making sarcastic remarks about me
52. Making fun of my hopes, dreams, and accomplishments
53. Punishing me severely for something I didn't do
54. Being distracted when I really have something to say
55. Insulting me in front of others
56. Speaking before thinking through how it will affect me
57. Pressuring me when I already feel low or offended
58. Comparing me with other kids at school and telling me how wonderful they are and that they wish I could do better
59. Forcing me to argue with them when I'm really hurt inside
60. Being treated like a child
61. Not approving of what I do or how I do it; I keep trying to get their approval but they just won't give it
62. Seeing them do the very thing they tell me not to do
63. Ignoring me when I ask for advice because they are too busy
64. Ignoring me or not introducing me to people who come to the house or we see in public
65. Showing favoritism toward my brother or sister
66. Acting as if something I want is of little importance
67. Not feeling like I am special to them; It's so important to me to have my parents let me know, even in small ways, that I'm special to them
68. Seeing my father put my mother down, especially in front of company
69. Seldom touching me or holding me
70. Hearing Mom and Dad bickering at each other to the point where one of them is really hurt
71. Not trusting me
72. Making fun of something physically different about me
73. Seeing my mom and dad trying to get revenge against each other
74. Sensing that me dad never approves of what I do or how I do it
75. Not being able to control their anger
76. Getting mad at me because I can't keep up with their schedule or abilities
77. Making me feel like they wish they never had me in the first place
78. Not having enough time for me
79. Needing my parents but they are glued to the television
80. Seeing my parents spend a lot of money on their pleasures, but when I want something, they don't seem to have enough money
81. Making me feel childish
82. Not spending the time to understand what I am trying to say
83. Yelling at me when I already know I'm wrong
84. Making me feel like I hadn't tried to improve at something when I really had.

hmmmmmmmm........?

It had never occurred to me that I had "spiritual parents" as opposed to biological ones. I kind of like it.

God used so many different people at different points in my life to teach me about his love, so I don't have one specific person to thank. However, one that stands out is my Nana.

Nana has always been faithful about teaching me about the gospel, even in times when I didn't want to hear it. So many times I told her that I didn't think God existed, that he couldn't exist and if he did that I hated him for what my life was like. I know that broke her heart, she cried. As an adult and a parent, I regret saying those things to the deepest part of my being. But I also know that it was necessary for me to be in that place, to feel those things and to have God prove me wrong again and again.

She continued to be faithful and talk about Jesus, pray for me, pray with me, send me books, pamphlets, take me to services and encourage me to donate my time to the homeless, battered and abused. Even the little things impacted me, like the fact that her answering machine says "God Bless" at the end and every time she would send me a card it would say "God Bless, xoxo" at the bottom. Those tiny little things seeped into my brain. She would always explain how God took care of her financially and how he always provided for her even when she didn't have two nickels to rub together. She showed it in the way that she forgave her brothers and sisters for mistreating her. There were times when I wanted to literally kill them for what they did to her, but she never showed anger or resentment, only sadness and forgiveness. Her actions taught me to never mistake kindness and forgiveness for weakness, because she is the strongest woman that I know.

Through her words, actions and intentions, Nana has been my spiritual parent all along. Who knew? She never forced me or pushed me, she guided me. That is what I want to be for Rowan. I also hope that I can honor her with my words and actions. I hope that I can be half as good to Rowan that she is to me. I hope that God gives me the strength and the courage to follow in her foot steps so that I can somehow bring glory to him in my very ordinary, every day life.

Whose your Daddy?

Two weeks in a row and I am behind on posting a blog. I don't feel that bad this week because I am guessing that everyone enjoyed their day off yesterday...celebrating America's Forefather's triumphal accomplishment. I briefly addressed part of what I wanted to say in response to Curtis' post regarding the spiritualization of the text. However, since Curtis' pastored the text up and made it about the spiritual side I will post to the spiritual side.

The quote that has stuck with me the last couple days came out of Jane's encounter with her mom. "God has not called you to raise Godley children, but to be Godley parents." As I started drawing out the implications of this I started to see how when we become Godley people there are ripple effects into other areas of our lives. Not only do we effect our spiritual parents but our bodily parents as well. A Godley parent (full of love and respect themselves) dawns out love and respect from their children as well. This is an area I need a lot of work I.

I think that honoring our father and mother (spiritual or biological) is rooted in right relationship and love. I have a feeling that whether we are in the church or at home that sometimes the tensions can be tight. I know I often lose sight of the other person's interest and start worrying just about my own. Not being a parent of teenagers, but watching and engaging with some (as well as my little children) I know that the children fail to give respect because they believe they know "everything," or at least I did. When I transfer this into the church I see new believers, youngsters, and children in the eyes of the church acting like they know everything...failing to realize that the older generation was once young like we are...eager, energetic, believing that the world is at their finger tips, ready to start a new revelation...viewing the older generation as a weight to be drug around. Therefore, I see this commandment as a reminder to be humble, honoring those who have helped shape our faith.

Does anyone have anyone that they want to honor/tell a story of someone who has helped shape their faith (I am looking for a fatherly figure because we have already done mothers ;) I am also thinking of the vast wealth of information and life experiences that we can draw from on Sunday mornings, could be a good way to connect Discovery, if we sought out spiritual guidance, advice, and knowledge from the elders in the church. Honoring them as we let them shape and influence our lives....I am currently thinking about dinner for 8 and realizing that I have not got a call.....I would text or email but I don't think anyone in my group has the following...

Sometimes it Takes a While...

I shared this with my table group on Saturday, but I feel it is a good example of reflecting on our past in order to give honor where it is due.

When I gave my life to Christ in 2001, I found myself super critical of my early years in the Lutheran Church.  Now that my faith was "real," I thought all of this must have been fake.  But what it took me a while to realize was that just because I have now embraced the meaning of something in my life, doesn't mean it didn't have meaning before I decided it did.

And so, I've come to see the years of attending worship every Sunday as having an incredible impact on the growth of my faith.  When kids accept Christ at YL camp who have never been to church, they have a really difficult time seeing the importance of weekly worship for their spiritual growth.  This habit is hard to establish.  But I immediately connected into a local congregation and began to attend worship regularly.

I have also recognized the power of song to form our spiritual lives.  There are moments when a song will unexpectedly arise from my throat.  These songs are often songs from my childhood that I don't remember learning.  Sometimes I find a song recalled that came at just the right moment for where I was at. 

Other times the words of Lord's Prayer, said every night before bed with my parents and every week in worship, comes to mind.  Knowing the prayer, I then allow it to be an outline for a time of conversation with God.

And when I was learning the "foundations" of the faith in my early years as a Christian, I discovered that most of my learning was recap.  Having memorized the Apostle's Creed for Confirmation and having said it week after week in worship, I had embedded within me the core doctrines of the Christian faith.

I am thankful that my parents diligently made it a priority for us to attend weekly worship, participate in our church's youth activities, and enfold ourselves in the life of the church.  God used my parents, years before I would ever put my trust in Christ, to plant seeds of faith and to establish a firm foundation.  When my faith became "real," I was not picked off the path by birds, or destroyed by the weather, but had deep (though unseen) roots that nurtured my new personal faith.